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Monthly Archives: July 2011
Tonight, Leo learns how to night fish. In the mountains around here not too many trout streams. We could care less. To night fish with us, alls you need is an old womans big purse, some string or fishing line about forty foot long, and a half drunk red neck with good high beams. First, hit the second hand stores such as a St. Vincent De Pauls, or a Good Will for your purse. Cost, three bucks. A bright color is a better lure. Next, find your fishing spot. A place right down the dirt road from us is perfect. Plenty of bushes and an escape dry wash that splits up into other gullys. A couple of flashlights can come in handy too. Soon as its dark, wait for the speeding idiot. Place the purse tied with the string, just off the berm around the sweeping turn. As the fish goes past the lure and you see brake lights, pull the purse off the dirt road and wait for the sound of a car backing up. Run up wash…Repeat until tired…
Got the low down on my new neighborhood from an old pal who lives at the end of the road just below our canyon. WHAT A PEYTON PLACE!!! There’s forty two mailboxes at the end of the road where the dirt hits the pavement. I just noticed that most have bullet holes in them. I also noticed ours has been blown apart from a shot gun blast from about two inches away. A car slows, then stops. An old man says, “Noticed your truck with the PHONEHENGE on the side. Your that guy with the tree house!” I smile and say that I am that guy. He then says, “What the f…k you what a damn tree house for!” I say nothing. He then says, “You live in that Navahos house now I hear!” I nod my head. He puts it in gear and says, “Good luck up there tree man, that place is haunted!” As he leaves, another car is coming down our dirt road…it slows…
Hiked all the way up to the end of the property. WOW! Have a mini rock formation half way up. I can see a hobbit house. OH YEAH!! Already have some ten foot high metal rounds from the old house. Will have to bulldoze a road up to it though. Hmm. Good thing I just helped a guy pull his truck out of a ditch this morning. He’s a dozer man…Oh, that ditch. This road that comes out to the ranch is a real doozy. First of all, it has a 15 mph switchback in it that actually means 15mph. A big gulch is right next to the corner you sweep around. Another thing about this road? It has NO SPEED LIMIT! Yep. You can go just as fast as you want, Knuckhead. And boy, do the locals lead foot it. I pulled over four times on the way to the dump for folks just slamming the curves, then on my ass. This pack ran my dozer pal off the pavement and just over into that gulch I told you about. His right drive wheel was just spinning in air. Used a big crane strap to pull him back onto the pavement. I asked him if people always drove like nut cases. He said, “No, only the crazies at the end of Umtali road!”…That’s the dirt road I live on. We have ways to slow folks down. I like this place better and better every day. Tonight, we build the fake kid on a bicycle that rolls out of nowhere from the dark…
From New Phonehenge
Well, as soon as I get some engineered plans approved, and, the material from the old tower moved, the new tower begins. Can’t waste anymore time beating a dead horse. I had a jury, the jury told me to hit the road. Told the D.A. I would abide by what they said, so, no use crying about it. I end up on five acres in a new place, L.A. County gets 1600 hard core criminals with more on the way. Maybe its the way things are suppossed to go…Who ever wants to apprentice and learn how to build wild structures, come on by and sign up…My signal could go at any second so, hope to catch up…
Plastic people building plastic worlds
P.T. Barnum has been one of my heroes for years. He built his gigantic museum of oddities that took him decades to collect. One morning while in the most expensive suite in New York, he opens the paper over coffee and finds he’s a pauper. His entire museum had gone up in flames. (No TV, phones or radio in those days). Now unable to pay his hotel bill, he’s literally out in the street, standing on the sidewalk, not knowing his next move. A tiny carriage pulled by six tiny horses pulls up in front of him. Tom Thumb, his door opened by a tiny carriage man steps out. He walks up to Barnum, looks up at him while handing him a large bag. Inside the bag, ten thousand dollars. Tom then signed up for a new world tour to get Barnum back on his feet. Barnum also lost his giant home, ‘Iranistan’, to another fire. Did he crawl into a closet and go into a fetal position? NO WAY! He built a new giant house and many more museums…Oh, he never, ever said, “There’s a sucker born every minute!” He had too much respect for his human oddities to say such a thing. It was W.C. Fields…