A kid at the skate park here in town was telling his pals how the ‘Justice league’ a new flick coming out would be the ultimate super group. I get in on this. I wonder, “What about the HULK. You’re saying they can take him?” The kid says, “Well, they have Superman and six others!” What? Hulk already wiped the floor up with Superman a long time ago. He bounced him like a basketball. I tell the kid the bad news, then add, “I call those other guys pallbearers”!!…
I finished a book by Fidel Castro a few weeks ago. He’s quite a guy. He started out with THREE guys, to take back his country. Its not that I’m thrilled about people being killed, don’t even go there, its the idea of an idea growing and taking a life of its own. Look at me for an example. News coverage, radio, TV, dozens of papers and magazines. All’s it got me was a delay in the juggernaut wrecking my house. The news people never gave a rats ass about the real story, the poor being destroyed and cast into the wind. NOOOO. They wanted to sell papers and advertising…
Leo, our Russian kid, gets caught shoplifting. At a Dollar store for crying out loud. The wife says I have to have a talk with him. I start out by telling him to always check on what type security cameras the store has. She slaps me up side the head. Oh, I get it, an Andy Hardy sort of talk. “Well Leo, I too, was caught stealing once. I was in the Topanga Plaza Mall. I was about 15 at the time. They had a pet shop in said mall. I was entranced with a big, two foot Iguana in a glass terrarium. It was thirty bucks. I had zip. Since I was wearing some sweat pants and the clerk was busy at the register, I lifted the glass top, ignored the hissing lizard, then stuffed him in my sweat pants. I put my sweat shirt over the bulge then strolled out like I owned the place!” Leo’s eyes opened at this revelation. Pat is horrified. I then finish the tale. “Too bad, that Iguana noticed my nutsack. It attacked ’em. Yep. Chomped right on the old scroto. I ripped my pants down, right in front of a security guard, then, started a pulling contest as I tried to run with my pants around my ankles.!” I waited for a, “Then what happened”? Pat’s glare made me shut up…Alright already. I finally got the lizard off, tossed it at the guard as he tried to grab me, then ran for my life through a side door that led to the loading docks. I dropped a good twenty foot, landing on some stacked broken down card board boxes, and escaped through a bunch of unloading trailers. The incident changed my stealing. I promised myself to never get caught again…
I now have a pet horned toad. This guy is a RETARD. I was weed eating these six foot monster weeds and suddenly his jungle was gone. I left some sage plants here and there to keep the dust down, so, that’s how I spotted him while refilling my string in my weed eater. I pick him up, rub his belly, put him next to a sage bush. Now, I’ve caught hundreds of lizards, snakes, toads, horned and regular, newts, frogs, whatever. This guy is different. He has moved his base of operations from the sage bush about a half acre from the barn, all the way to the closet bush next to the barn. He actually RUNS IN FRONT OF ME NOW so I’ll pick him up…
Go see the new CONAN flick. The new guy is a hundred times better that Arnold. He follows the character Robert E. Howard wrote about. If you want the best rendering of Conan, check out FRANK FRAZETTA. Oh man, he’s the BEST! When my som Noah had a Frazetta done on his leg, I wanted one. Its of Tarzan and the Golden lion in battle. AWESOME! Nah, I wouldn’t really get one, but, if I did, it would be a Frazetta of this Whooly Mammoth doing battle with nine saber toothed cats. The story is from, ‘Tarzan at the Earths Core’. A great book…By the way, no one has ever done Tarzan as he is in the books. He was a stone cold killer. Before he learned to kill the natives for their weapons and accounterments, he would stalk them through the jungle pathways in the ancient tree ways, then, drop on the last man in the traveling string of warriors. To keep his prey quiet he would tear their throats out with his teeth…Read, ‘The SON OF TARZAN’. Oh man, its the best!!!
While I was in the ‘Fish Tank’ in lock up after the Judge arrested me for refusinig to put people in the street, I learned a lot of interesting things. First, the toughest guy in the tank is easy to spot. He has the only roll of toilet tissue as his pillow on the cement bench. He also has the bench…Another thing? It’s an entirely different world. Since its deliniated by invisible lines that are best not to cross over, its fairly organized. The first thing I noticed was the way these cell mates ACCEPTED EVERYTHING. It was just part of their daily lives to be in a lock down. They gave me the low down on everything that was coming down. All the way from our departation to downtown for processing, to the time my head would hit a bunk. I also learned, THEY KNOW IT WILL NEVER CHANGE FOR THEM. That’s why the ton their heads, necks, faces. Ditto for the piercings and studs. They’ve accepted their lot in live. THAT’S THE REAL TRAGEDY. Why is this? TAKE A LOOK AT MY TREEHOUSE NOW…One other thing. They also can’t wait for payback. It won’t be pretty…
Swell, another kidney stone moving around. Have to go to town to get something better to make the journey a bit more comfortable. The pain stuff I have now blows chunks…A Story on new pain pills…It’s a hot summer day. I’m sitting at the All American burger on Sunset Blvd. I’m actually sitting on their low wall. No tables available inside or outside. I have my Pac Bell truck on the sidewalk with orange cones around it. My pal and fellow tech, Bob Sharber jumps the curb, parks in front of me. He says. “Come on, lets get a table!” I wave at the crowd. Bob say’s, “What, there’s one right there!” Oh, the table for six with a parasol with the crazy ladies bags and suitcases all over it, plus, the crazy lady herself, deep in conversation with the six other personalities inside her? Yep. Bob is already moving a bag and taking a seat. I do the same next to him. She yaks away, doing the facial expressions for everyone inside her. Bob starts to put a box on an empty seat. She comes unglued. “Don’t put that on John!” Bob nods, then says, “Hey John, I’m ordering, you want anything?” In a different voice, the crazy lady, “Mustard on the hot dog!”…Once again, outside at the All American burger….A big gothic type church across from the burger joint. In the cross walk, a tiny old lady with a walker. Not light. A break in the traffic you or I could make use of. Not this old gal. Traffic is bearing down on her, fast. Four lanes. Only three on my side, some cars parked against curbs. Two lanes slow, lane three doesn’t feel he has to. Suddenly, he spots her. He slams on his Cadillac’s brakes. He lays on his horn, screaming at her. Next to him, a giant ‘Starving Student Mover’, van. The shotgun passenger steps down. Red headed with a bush natural. Six six, two seventy five, easy. He steps to the Caddy driver’s window, yells, “HEY!” The driver, still honking and yelling at the frozen with fear old gal, turns his fat face with a big stogie in it. A fist shoves that stogie flat, making him also sit back up like a clown punch toy. The old lady makes it to the sidewalk…These new pills are way better…fading fast….I go into the All American. Front door is locked. Cops are inside. Can see them talking and moving around. Detectives. Squad cars pull up. I’m told to move along. Something catches my eye on the floor inside. Its a chalk outline. A chill runs through me. I knew from the outline my manager pal was dead…
So, Leo has some new pals with ATV’s. He’s now sneaking out his window to meet up with them. He doesn’t realize I hear them coming from five miles away up our canyon. While trying to get a shot at a coyote with the pellet gun, I watch from a vantage point in the brush as Leo pops out his window, then, repeats. I also notice he dives into the window to return, rolling on his bed next to the window. Hmmm. The thought of putting about twenty mouse traps on his bed when he sneaks back at night pops into my head…On that note, I had a room mate, Larry Williams, who used to hit his alarm on top to sleep fifteen minutes more, then, shout at me for letting him sleep. I was fifteen, he was twenty two. I put a mouse trap on top of his alarm clock once. I didn’t hear the ‘snap’, but I sure heard him scream, then hit his door looking for me. I slept in the front room of this old farm house. He chased me outside, then locked me out…
I’m just entering an apartment on the second floor off Romaine in West Hollywood. I always check out the architecture no matter where I’m working. This place is a stucco and fake brick atrocity. I would kill myself before living in such a place. Well, maybe not kill myself, but give myself a good beating. Anyhow, a guy obviously on speed answers the door on the first floor. He has a giant live snake in his arms and wrapped around his shoulders. About fifteen foot long. I tell him he has to put the snake in another room, company policy. He says a snotty, “He’s my baby!” Then, puts the snakes head in front of his faking a kiss. The snake strikes him right in the mug, so fast and hard, the guy is knocked on his ass. Dozens of little holes start leaking blood in a round pattern just above his eyes and below his chin. I headed for my next repair ticket…
I’m finishing up a phone repair job for a gal off Outpost Drive. I notice a picture on her desk as I place her phone back in its spot. Its of one of my favorite actors, Peter Lorrie (Casablanca). The girl says, “See the little girl on his lap, that’s me at eight years old!” She was his only daughter. She then adds, “That photo saved my life once!”…Her story…”I was waiting for a bus on Hollywood Boulevard. Two men stopped a sedan, the passenger got out, showed me a badge, asked me to get in the car to go to the police dept. I get in. They ask for my I.D… I open my wallet for my drivers license. The photo I showed you was next to it. The man driving says, “Is that Peter Lorrie?” I say, yes, he was my father. The man driving pulls over at the next bus stop, tells me I can get out, they don’t need me. I find out later from pictures on the news that they were The Hillside Stranglers.”
